An Open Letter to the Man who Designed Stainless Steel Toilets

This is so NOT a love letter

Stainless steel toilet, Bevin Lake Rest Area located on WA-12 5.1 miles West of Packwood, WA on State Route WA-12. I am assuming the paper is leftover from using it as a seat cover.

Dear Sir,

Is it presumptuous of me to address you as Sir? I think not. Women can be catty, possibly lean towards the B-word. We’re competitive and known to be lethal if jealous. Yet, with confidence I profess, no woman would torture the sisterhood with a stainless steel toilet seat.

For the sake of accuracy I tried to research the name of the man responsible for this design. It’s not surprising no one is brave enough to put their name on the stainless torture seat.

I regret to say I’ve experienced your creation way too many times, always in desperation, with no other choice. Suffering dehydration, passing car time googling what species can hold their pee the longest (by the way a wood frog can last up to 8 months), before waving a white flag, alerting hubby to pull into the chamber of horrors.

Trust me it’s no coincidence that the stainless steel seats are installed on buses, trains, ships, at parks, rest stops, etc. Do you see the pattern? Last resort toilets. This is no accident. Click this link for an article attempting to justify these monstrosities, claiming they are easy to clean and deter vandalism. I’m not the government conspiracy type, yet — just saying.